really? is this what my life is supposed to be? i am so exhausted! i literally have thrown the same bottle away three times today! and this is what every day is like. i know that motherhood is hard and most of it is completely unflattering and thankless, but seriously?
i have spent my entire morning cleaning and trying to locate some horizontal surfaces. it's days like this i want to just throw everything away and sit in an empty room. too much stuff, not nearly enough room, time or patience.
maybe i should try this tactic
i have surrendered the fantasy of a perfectly clean house. it's not happening and i'm ok with that, but this is unacceptable. and i absolutley cannot keep up with it. am i the only one who notices or just the only one who cares?
i've been reading alot of blogs from other mothers. lds and non. and i feel like i am failing. am i honestly supposed to want this for eternity? and i feel horrible for saying it and thinking it. but i'm being honest. all of this "stuff" just doesn't come easily and naturally to me. does that make me a bad mother?
a dear friend of mine says that all of these unpleasantries of motherhood, ie. dishes, laundry, poop, barf, soggy bread, boogers, black eyes, etc. etc. is all about teaching us humility. ok. let's think about that....
humility.
i don't get it. and if i am supposed to be learning humility, what are all the men supposed to be learning? i am really struggling.
i am trying my best to be the best wife and mother that i can be, but that doesn't mean i like it or that i'm good at it. and if this is my sole purpose in life...i want to cry!
seriously
3 comments:
I wonder where the idea that women need to learn "humility" originated? Could it be from those very men who have a vested interest to keep us in our places cleaning up the poop, boogers, barf, urine, all while cooking, cleaning, canning, and supplying on-demand sex? Dare I say your "dear friend" has bought into male propaganda and now does her best to drag her sisters in Christ down into the same mire in which she has found her personal martyrdom?
I'm afraid I have to keep my name anonymous or the next thing I know, I'll have those same men knocking on my door suggesting that I keep my mouth shut and learn my place - barefoot, in the kitchen, and pregnant.
I'm glad to see that someone else is commenting on your blog. For a while I thought I was the only one with the address.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!!! I have decided that as long as my kids are happy and relatively healthy, and we all have clean clothes to wear and clean dishes to eat from, I'm doing alright. Of course, it's great if the bathrooms get scrubbed and the kitchen floor gets mopped, but I am far from being Super-Mom and they're just going to have to deal with it. If it bothers Andrew, he can pitch in and help, right? Anyway, don't beat yourself up. You're a MOM, first and foremost, so just make sure the're happy and safe and you'll be OK.
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